John's Death and How It Affected Me

[Captain Kundalini]

I didn't have a TV at the time. On the morning of December 9, 1980, I got dressed for work, stepped over the morning paper, walked out to my car and drove to work as usual. Just after we opened at Orange Julius in North Park Mall, my brother Bryan called and in typical dramatic fashion, told me that John had been shot and that he was dead. I refused to believe him! I hung up the phone and went 'round the corner to get the Dallas Morning News.
The headline was right there staring me in the face. I went back inside, got to work and somehow got through a very busy day.
Wen I got back to my apartment, I was overtaken by a cloud of absolute black RAGE! Then sadness, then rage again.
I DESPERATELY tried to convince myself that it wasn't real, that this was a prank like the "War Of The Worlds" radio broadcast.
Something in my mind turned off.
To make a long story short, I had a mental and emotional breakdown. I just couldn't deal with it, so I started talking and acting like John
(with what I discovered had disastrous results).
I threw 2 years of being clean and sober out the window. I got busted and had to do 3 years probation.
I was ordered to get some help. I got it all out: the Rage, the Pain. I got my reality back.
It took me about 3 years to recover.....but I did recover.
I now have 30 years and 3 months clean and sober.
Well, that's all. Thanks for reading.

 

[Starshyne9]

Congratulations on 30 years and 3 months sober! That is amazing. I lost the love of my life due to alcohol, so I am happy to hear that you turned things around and were able to overcome addiction and live life.

I was only 4 when John was murdered, so I don't remember it. When I first started getting into the Beatles, I knew that John was not alive, but I assumed he had died because of an overdose like so many musicians from the 1960s did. I was reading a book about John's life, and when I got to the end and read that he was murdered, I cried and was just as upset as if it had just happened. It was devastating to me and took me a while to process and move forward. The year might have been 1989, but I had the same feelings that fans did in 1980.

Sara S.